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Wilma the Conqueror: Winning the Battle of the Bulge

This title might be preemptive.  I have not yet lost more than about 15 pounds.  Still, I am going to lose over a hundred pounds, no matter how long it takes me, preferably within a year.  If it takes me longer, I will keep going.  I will pursue my objective and I will not give up.  This is not just about a number on the scale; far from it.  This is about my self respect as a human being, as a mother, as a wife, as an individual, as an American, as a lover of possibilities, and mostly just as Wilma, I, me, myself.

 

I have hemmed and hawed and pretended to care and pretended to try and made promises to myself and pretended again, and the reason I saw no results was that I was pretending and lying to myself.  I didn’t want to really lose weight; I just wanted to tell everyone I did.  I wanted to pretend that I loved myself when inside I was filled with self-loathing.  It’s a hard thing to admit and talk about in public, so I kept the feelings quiet and dormant, then just pretended to be health conscious and went about my merry business shoveling my face full of French fries and ice cream.

 

Oh, I was in denial of the worst sort.  I was in denial that I had a problem.  It was a thin denial, translucent, because on the other side, I was sure that everyone could see that I really wanted to be healthy.  I just didn’t see the need to try.  I would try for a week or two then give up.  I’d eat something I knew wasn’t helping me, and the whole thing would be over.  I’d gain more weight and be back to business as usual, vegetarian but fat, and not healthy, not caring about myself, and not succeeding at the business of caring for others either (which I thought I was doing rather well).

 

Fast forward to “The Now” as they call it and you’ll see someone who really understands that you cannot care for others until you take sufficient care of yourself.  It’s a lesson I had to learn time and time again.  I’ve stated it in another entry of this blog.  It’s an important point, though.  To be a caring person, to care for anyone, truly, one must care for oneself.  This is what was lacking in my past.  This is what I’m putting into practice In the Now.

 

 

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About theworldofwilma

I'm a mom, a wife, a daughter, a niece, a cousin, a patient, a friend, a woman, a client, a parent, a vegetarian, a believer, an environmentalist and probably much more. . . but mostly I'm just me, quirky, silly ol' nonsensical Wilma, and I wouldn't have it any other way. In addition, I am just recently new in the world of self published, self illustrated children's literature. Please see some pictures from my first work. I invite all interest and dialogue from illustration artists, authors, publishers, marketers, writers of all kinds, parents, or anyone interested in the printed word for young readers. I am just starting out and want to learn all I can.

4 responses »

  1. You should be proud that you’re making progress. Don’t look at the end of the road, it’s too far to see. Start each morning. Now that I’ve said that, I should listen to my own advice. Happy New Year!

    Reply
  2. Thanks for the positive comment.

    Happy New Year to you as well.

    Reply
  3. Believe it or not, although I am size zero right now, I understand about your struggle with weight. I easily gain weight. With one week of hearty meals this holiday , I gained 4 lbs. Now, I;ve turned to eating dry seaweeds for snacks, again, and just a few tablespoons of my favorite dishes. It’s so hard . I like to eat. I love that leche flans and empanadas that I cooked for New Year lunch. But I couldn’t touch them, I could only look. Problem here , I need the low weight at my job. I have to model the dresses that we sell.

    Anyways, Cheers, Wilma ! Btw, what i do is I drink water first, and I use a salad plate, instead of dinner plate, munch on dry seaweed ( surprisingly tastes good ), and prefer soups with lots of veggies. The liquid makes me feel like my tummy’s full.

    Happy 2012 !

    Reply
    • I could never in my life dream of being something like a size 0 or 2.

      LOL, you complain about gaining 4 pounds. I don’t mean to laugh, but I’m trying to lose over 100. I remember being 125 pounds in my early 20s or in my late teens and thinking I needed to lose 5 pounds. Make sure you don’t worry about weight so much that you are never satisfied enough as is.

      Reply

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