RSS Feed

Tag Archives: body

Fracturization (As the Crutches Turn)

MetroPCS billboard, $40 Unlimited talk, text, web.

MetroPCS billboard, $40 Unlimited talk, text, web. (Photo credit: JC0598)

365 Day 69 Genetic Testing

365 Day 69 Genetic Testing (Photo credit: lornagrl) - Someone's hand after genetic testing

I have a good friend who is a deacon at a church called Bethel Missionary Baptist Church.  He kind of acts in a fatherly capacity and has ever since I started to have my life more intertwined with county mental health treatment.  I first started to talk to him before my life became controlled by the courts (conservatorship).  He continued to be a grounding source of wisdom during the time when I was institutionalized, later when I was at a board and care facility, and finally when I came back to the Monterey area to begin with the transitional housing community at which I met my husband almost five years ago.  He has stayed the course as a true friend, offering advice, frequent kind gestures, and support in general.  He helped me yesterday when I had to go to the orthopedic doctor to get my ankle examined and a wrap to stabilize it.

He also tried to take me grocery shopping, but I did not have my ID to make the check.  My credit union was not open.  I needed to activate my new card, but I could not that day.  As a result, I have not been able to pay my Metro PCS pre-paid phone bill.  I have to activate the card in person.  I e-mailed my friend, but he does not always check his e-mail.  I also e-mailed another friend who is wife of the minister at the church where I personally would attend.  Frustration.

My husband said he would come over this week and help me do some things, help me to get some food, maybe with showering (you know, hand me the towel, maybe help pull me out of the bathtub since I don’t have a seat for the shower, clean up).  He might not be able to come tomorrow because his mother is insistent that we get this genetic test for David.  I told my husband to tell her that I currently can’t afford it.  I am trying to get insurance to cover the test.  He told me she was upset at me for not being able to pay for it.  I tried to call the hospital before my phone was disconnected.  I left a message.  I was going to find out precisely how much the test costs and if they think the insurance I am currently applying for would cover that.  I can’t call now except using an online phone.  I’ve used Gmail, but I don’t know if it does long distance calls.  San Francisco is long distance to me.

Tired of frustration and stress, people not being understanding, tired I really am.  I told my mother that I think my mother-in-law does not really care one way or the other if I am well.  She (my mother) pointed out how Patricia (mother-in-law) sure enjoyed being around David.  I answered that she may enjoy that, but she really doesn’t seem to care at all about my interests.  Honestly, inside, I feel she wouldn’t care if I fell off this great Earth.  I’m sure that’s a terrible thing to say, but I get that impression.  I stayed with her for a couple months while my husband was going through some troubles, and she wasn’t very understanding when I was depressed while my marriage was in trouble and I had to stay away from my own home with the baby.  She didn’t seem very compassionate.  She wouldn’t even drive me to the doctor, only stay with the baby.  It seemed as if my own needs always came last.  I’m not sure if that is the way most in-laws are.  I don’t know, not having much experience.  I don’t know if I’m perceiving things differently.  I’m no expert, but I can only say how I feel.

I don’t know how long I have to just stay home while I wait for my ankle to be somewhat better.  I don’t know what the indication would be that I could do things on my own.  The doctor gave a six to eight week projected recovery period.  That timeline falls outside the anticipated date for my son’s birthday party.  I’m sure I could ask in three weeks when I go to see the orthopedic again.

Good grief, Charlie Brown.



Success of Counseling, Our Relationship Going Strong, Getting My Life Organized

My husband’s and my marital relationship has gone upward recently although we are still separated (not legally, just living apart).  Our relationship is going strong.  We get together most weekends.  Last weekend, he came over starting Friday night after we had counseling that day and saw David, then on Saturday we went all the way out to Carmel Valley and went to Carmel Valley Fiesta and had a good time.  We saw my mom after that and brought her pizza from the little store next to her house at Rosie’s Crackerbarrel.  After that, we had a Thai Village dinner, and it was really, really good.  We had a little trouble getting back to my place because the buses has stopped at 7:15 and we were kind of stuck in the valley.  We were looking for a cab when a kind stranger offered us a ride to Monterey bus transit plaza where we caught a bus to Salinas, then a taxi to my home here.  The next day, on Sunday, we had brunch at First Awakenings followed by iced coffee then watching Rise of Planet of the Apes.  After that, Chris went home and I went to my own home.

Yesterday, my mom came to the visit with David but was a half hour or so late.  She had extreme difficulty walking around and the people at the building were concerned.  They thought she should get a wheelchair.  It’s not sure she will.  She might just get another walker.  I was very concerned about her because she had so much trouble just getting from place to place.  It was really concerning.

Besides all this, I need to get my life on track with managing my finances and keeping track of my spending as well as my eating.  I’ve been eating out way too much, and it has to stop.  I need to eat at home the majority of the time.  It’s not good for my body or my budget to eat out at every meal.  It also sends me psychologically into a weird place, I think.  It’s hard to explain.  It probably just makes me feel disorganized, which leads to different types of problems, hard to explain.

I’m going to be getting back on track also with diet and exercise.  Today I’m going to the gym and Omni Center, then I was going to meet Chris at the bus stop and he was going to help me with my vacuum cleaner, plus I guess we will visit for a spell.

Getting back on track is not the hard part.  It’s staying that way that is the challenge. 🙂