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Tag Archives: Greenpeace

Few Steps Forward, Few Steps Back: Also the Waiting Game to See About Possibilities

My last rootbeer

So I had decided since last week not to interview for the Greenpeace job. It would have paid well, given good benefits, and even a 401k (not so sure what that means, but I’m sure it’s a good thing to have). I’m looking instead at going back to school at University of the Rockies. I would still be in the Master of Arts in Psychology only my concentration would change from Mediation and Conflict Resolution to Non-Profit Management. I’m waiting to see if I am eligible. Enrollment/start of school starts in less than a week. I’ve called twice yesterday when a guy named Robert in the enrollment department said he would call me in the afternoon yesterday but did not. This caused some anxiety. I was trebitatious already about “giving it another go” in school. His lack of commitment to calling me back after he talked me into starting earlier than I anticipated was not reassuring to say the least.

I’ve been enjoying my visits with David. My munchkin is so sweet, and he’s grown very attached to his soon-to-be adoptive family without losing his feelings toward myself and his birth daddy, it seems. He has two families. What baby could be more lucky? So much love going around. Aaaah…. Feel the love!

And feel the fat building up all over my body, as well. I intended to stick to my Joel Furhman Eat to Live plan, but I have still not been very successful. I asked my mom to give me some nutrition tips last night because she used to be about as overweight as I am now, and she lost maybe 40 lbs. If I could get to at least below 200 lbs, I would feel like I had accomplished something. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe I am setting my goals too high (or too low in this case). Maybe I don’t need to make unrealistic goals to be super skinny again. Maybe just to get to an upwardly healthy weight would be enough. I could make my goal to be to get to the higher edge of healthy for my height and body type. And not have a crazy unrealistic goal like eating only fruits and vegetables. Maybe just calorie counting and eating lots of fruits and vegetables and cutting out soda and high calorie items, and portion controlling, maybe all that would help. Maybe having realistic expectations without being too restrictive and hard on myself. Maybe in setting unrealistic goals, I was in actuality setting myself up to not follow any of it.

I ordered pizza and fatty pastas and two kinds of soda and cinnamon bread yesterday for dinner. So bad. My clothes are not going to fit soon, and these were the clothes that I got that were bigger because I needed new clothes after I had the baby. So potentially depressing.

I can’t keep expecting to lose weight if I stuff myself with chips, pizza, soda, and junk food of all types. There’s no way. I have to make a concrete choice. Do I want to eat junk food all the time or do I want to lose weight? Maybe cutting out junk food forever is not required, but having it so often, especially at the beginning when I’m trying to have a real impact and lose those first few pounds…. Maybe that is an act of self-sabatoge. I have to be stronger than that.

The thing is: I don’t know why I think I need junk food. I think it is habit. I think I believe it will taste good, and for a fleeting instance it might. However, when I get to the end of eating it, I don’t feel good, I don’t feel proud of myself, and I haven’t done myself any favors. So what’s it gonna be: Junk food and junk in the trunk? Or a proud, healthy, conscientious person who respects herself enough to care about what goes in her body? I say option number two.

Now, to pour out the soda. It’s time.


Events that are Looming on the Horizon: Greenpeace Job and Omni volunteering

I’m trying to decide the right balance for my time. Do I want to see if I can get work for Greenpeace three days a week and volunteer two days a week? Or maybe just volunteer one? I have limited time, so I have to make the most of it. Or should I really take on a paid position when my social worker was against the idea? These questions have been in the back of my mind since earlier this week, and I have to answer them for the better or worse.

In a little while, I will be leaving for my talk with Hal at Omni Center at 11:00am. I think I will start with one day volunteering. If for some reason, I don’t do the Greenpeace job, then I will do more.

I need to call Greenpeace in San Jose and ask them if I can have the interview on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. I hope they won’t mind me moving the date.

I’m just having woken up about a half hour ago, and I’m drinking chocolate soy milk, getting ready to go out for the day. I’ve had trouble getting going for about a week and a half or more. I don’t know what’s with me.

On Saturday, I’m doing a Coastal Clean-up Day with Jane Parker, supervisor, and it starts at 9am. I hope I can get up early enough. I’m tired of being a lazy bones, but it’s hard to get myself going in the morning. It doesn’t help that I’ve not been really wanting to go to bed early enough. I’ve gotten in the habit of staying up late as well. Not good.

The Amazing Land of David, Omni Volunteering, Breakthrough H’art and Greenpeace Job

There are a number of things I’m looking into. The first one was that I as usual saw David at the Quadrangle in South Salinas. Great visit.

Next, I went to Omni Center across the street from the Quad and managed to run into Hal, whom I talked to about volunteering regularly with Omni Center. We made an appointment for next Thursday at 11:00 to talk about what kinds of things I would be able to do, schedule, etc.

Another thing is that while online at Omni, I started looking up jobs and in particular “green jobs” is what I typed in, actually “green jobs in Monterey County” or something similar. I found a number of things, but the one that seemed the best was a job posted on Craigslist for Greenpeace International paying $12 to $13 per hour with medical, visual and dental insurance and the possibility for advancement. I would tell them that I was interested in possibly increasing my knowledge of Spanish if that could help me get hired. I’m not as well-versed as I used to be, and they said they would prefer bilingual applicants, although they did not say it was a requirement. There is also the possiblity of bonuses and such, so in all it seems like a great opportunity. I left a message.

I would only be concerned that I am doing my usual reaction to a stressful situation (the upcoming adoption and subsequent moving of my dear son, David) by piling on a lot of activities when I may not have the time or resources to accomplish them all without making myself literally crazy. I’m hesitant to tell my social worker that I’ve made these inquiries because she may get alarmed and try to talk me out of it and inside I don’t want that. Still, the rational part of my mind says I should get some feedback. Yet, I know what she will say. She will give the usual spheel that I get from all social workers, psychologists, doctors or anyone who works with me, and that is to not pile myself with too much and overwhelm myself. Maybe it is true. But what if it’s not?

My two favorite causes, as I wrote on Facebook, are mental health and environmentalism. If I could be involved in both, I feel like I would be doing a lot of things which I feel are important to me a worthwhile. If I worked part time for Greenpeace and volunteered with Omni, it might not be too much.

However, if the Greenpeace job is out of the area, I might have to think hard about it. I’m not in a position to relocate currently. Maybe I should just find out more about it if and when a representative from Greenpeace calls me back.

I’m very passionate about the environment and mental health. I want to find a way to merge the two causes somehow. Maybe someday I really can pursue an interest in ecopsychology. I don’t know much about it, but it’s something I had heard of while in an introductory lecture in psychology at UC Santa Cruz. I’ve been interested for a long time in a school in Colorado — Naropa University. Now that David will be adopted, maybe I should see if I can get more seriously involved in the field.

Right now I need to do as a certain black Zen t-shirt says (my t-shirt with a tree on it), which says “Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream of the future. Focus the mind on the present moment.” It’s something I need to remind myself always because my mind seems to drift easily and get distracted. Someday I’ll learn.