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Prayer: Please Lord, I haven’t always been perfect, and I haven’t always been humble like I should be. I know you don’t expect perfection, but I also know I need to try harder. Please give me the strength to be my best. Also, let me know my son is safe always. He is my heart. Thank you for the past year and a half and for bringing him into this world, and thank you for making sure he has good people to take good care of him. Let me see him someday as an older child or as an adult, and let him say, “Thank you” for loving him enough to let go even though it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


My Husband’s Birthday Tomorrow, Counseling and other Fun Stuff

Tomorrow my beloved husband, whom I am living apart from is turning 41.  Yay Christopher, you’ve survived another year on the planet!  Hurrah!  Hurrah!  Siss boom bah!

Also, tomorrow, we start counseling to pick up the pieces of our marriage, and here’s praying it is a success.  We can only get out of it what we put into it, and I intend to put my full being into it, that much of myself as I can reasonably spare.

Chris will be going out to eat with his mother.  Later in the week, we’re still deciding if and what we might plan to do.  We’ve considered going to Santa Cruz to the boardwalk, but I looked up the concert that evening (free) and I’m not sure if it’s going to be that good this week.  We could always go on rides, of course.

I intend to work out that day as well, and of course, I work out the next day too considering I’m attempting a full five days this week (Wednesdays and Sundays being my chillaxing days).

We will also have come from seeing David that day, Chris at 9:00 am, me at 10:00 am.  Dear David, dear sweet, innocent, angelic David.  How I love thee and thine daddy.

Anyway, enough of the mushy stuff.  I said a prayer when I was with my son on Monday.  I decided I should start praying morning and night, and I’m going to start trying to do it.  Actually, I’m not going to ‘try’.  I’m going to DO.  There is no ‘try’.  Do or do not.  That’s how my life is.  On or off; hot or cold.  Yin and yang.

I got Chris some DVDs including music DVDs with CDs included and also a card that has a CD with music from the year 1970 since Chris was born in 1970.  That should be fun.  I wrote a long note.  It was very heartfelt.

I pray that our family can be reunified someday.  I pray every day.  I should formalize my prayers so that God will know I am serious.  Time to get serious with my faith, right?  God doesn’t want slackers.