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Visit from Husband. It’s almost as if we’re not even separated, which is nice.


My dear husband Christopher and I have been living apart since just before the new year turned this year.  We got into domestic disputes, and it was always a lot of discord.  It ended in the advice that my husband find another place to stay.  Now he stays at transitional housing for people with mental health issues (we both have diagnoses which require us to take psychiatic medications and have social workers and doctors, etc.) and our baby boy David who we had last year is with foster care since I had another round of psychiatric illness on April 5th or 6th around my father’s birthday.  That’s a triggering date because of my father’s suicide in 2001 or 2002.  It’s getting easier, but sometimes I still have pangs of grief.

Since the separation started, we have had phases, but now it’s looking promising.  As I talked about in an earlier entry, we got into counseling with a woman who works at his housing facility.  She’s really been very helpful and understanding even though it might be out of the ordinary for them to accept a client such as myself who no longer lives there even though I used to be a client of the program.

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My Husband’s Birthday Tomorrow, Counseling and other Fun Stuff


Tomorrow my beloved husband, whom I am living apart from is turning 41.  Yay Christopher, you’ve survived another year on the planet!  Hurrah!  Hurrah!  Siss boom bah!

Also, tomorrow, we start counseling to pick up the pieces of our marriage, and here’s praying it is a success.  We can only get out of it what we put into it, and I intend to put my full being into it, that much of myself as I can reasonably spare.

Chris will be going out to eat with his mother.  Later in the week, we’re still deciding if and what we might plan to do.  We’ve considered going to Santa Cruz to the boardwalk, but I looked up the concert that evening (free) and I’m not sure if it’s going to be that good this week.  We could always go on rides, of course.

I intend to work out that day as well, and of course, I work out the next day too considering I’m attempting a full five days this week (Wednesdays and Sundays being my chillaxing days).

We will also have come from seeing David that day, Chris at 9:00 am, me at 10:00 am.  Dear David, dear sweet, innocent, angelic David.  How I love thee and thine daddy.

Anyway, enough of the mushy stuff.  I said a prayer when I was with my son on Monday.  I decided I should start praying morning and night, and I’m going to start trying to do it.  Actually, I’m not going to ‘try’.  I’m going to DO.  There is no ‘try’.  Do or do not.  That’s how my life is.  On or off; hot or cold.  Yin and yang.

I got Chris some DVDs including music DVDs with CDs included and also a card that has a CD with music from the year 1970 since Chris was born in 1970.  That should be fun.  I wrote a long note.  It was very heartfelt.

I pray that our family can be reunified someday.  I pray every day.  I should formalize my prayers so that God will know I am serious.  Time to get serious with my faith, right?  God doesn’t want slackers.