Normally, I share my artwork in the designated page entitled “Artwork.” You can find this in the upper tabs.
Recently, I have started making my art available on the above website, FineArtAmerica.com. The pieces are just available as cards right now. Someday soon I will figure out how to edit my art into print-size and poster-size versions. Until then, these cards will continue to be available so people can get a hint at some of the projects I have done. I have some more that I could probably post. Soon I will get it accomplished. I’m slow; bear with me.
I was going to ask advice on the issue of keeping my relationship going despite very negative interactions with my husband. I have been wondering how often it happens that couples who have been separated reunite to live happily ever after. Also, we ask the question of whether living apart but remaining married (sometimes called Living Apart Together) can provide a happy middle ground. one where we don’t have to part completely but can enjoy autonomy.
Perhaps the problem we are facing is one my father used to say as a child and that he told me about a lot. I used to ask my father repeatedly to tell me stories about himself growing up. One that he always repeated and I never tired of was that of how he used to tell his mother she was “frustrating his autonomy” when he was just a small child. Maybe that’s what we do to each other. Maybe we need our space.
I have twisted delusions sometimes, ones that I don’t always tell people. I will think someone is another person entirely. I will think that I used to know them a long time ago in another part of my life but they don’t remember their old identity and neither do I. Do other people imagine these things? They frighten me sometimes because maybe I am strange enough to believe them. It’s kind of uncomfortable talking about it in the open, but I figure the more I’m willing to talk about it, the more it makes the world a safe place for people to talk openly about their mental differences.
Why do we have to call it “mental illness” or “disorder” or “craziness” or “insanity”? True, these things are scary. They can rob us of pieces of our lives. Maybe I’m the one having trouble admitting the truth. Maybe I’m also stuck in what old style Freudian psychoanalysis would call neurosis, meaning I have unresolved trauma and this brings up false memories and beliefs. Which is true? How do I know? Do other people think this way?
In the end, I just have to live with what I have and move forward whatever my strange imaginings may be. When I share my art with the world, I am showing another part of myself. When I contribute to the world through volunteerism, I am giving back to others while building on my own self esteem.
I have to tell myself I’m fine even when I’m struggling. I really am fine, just as long as I decide to use my resources and stay ahead of my symptoms.